Honoring Gami

One year ago today, Gami passed away and was joined with Our Father in Heaven. How wonderful it is to know that she is rejoicing for eternity now and no longer suffering as she did. But man do I miss that wonderful lady! There will never be another like her and I know that I will miss her every single day until we meet again. She has missed so much already in this year. My pregnancy, Graham's book release and contract for the sequeal, Ashley's engagement, Nolan's birth, Kristin's wedding, and just watching how Nicholas has grown. I know she's seeing all of us from where she is but how I wish we could share these experiences with her. There are so many times that I'm holding Nolan or looking at him when I'm reminded of similar times with Nicholas as a baby and how Gami loved to watch him. I remember how she would stand over me as I nursed Nicholas and as he would stop nursing to look up at her, she would always joke and say "Nosy!" (and I would say back to her "You're one to talk"). She loved to be with Nick as a baby and I would pick her up for our "dates" and she would ride in the back seat with him and say "Kissy, kissy, kissy" to him, always making him laugh. I can't believe it has been a year since I saw her, talked with her, hugged her, and laughed with her. Amazingly though, when I think back on these wonderful memories of her, it is like she is still with me, like they just happened yesterday. Because she was so much a part of my life, a part of me, there are so many things throughout each day that remind me of her or a funny time with her. To honor her today, Nicholas and I made a Kahlua cake. It was my first time--hopefully it turns out alright. I haven't done much baking with Nicholas but he was a great help and dumped everything into the mixing bowl and then helped me with the mixing too. (Don't worry, I didn't let him lick the bowl and get buzzed on Kahlua and Vodka--saved that for Me! Gami sure was one cool lady!) The family is coming over tonight for dinner. We'll be together and remember the wife, mom, and grandma that we loved so much. Hopefully they'll be laughter mixed in with our tears. And as life goes on without her, we know that she is watching us and loving us as always. If I take the time to stop and listen, I might just hear a "kissy, kissy, kissy"...
I love you Gami!

Zombie Mommy

I write this blog partly to update our family and friends of all of our happenings, but another big motivation for me is to have a record of our life with the boys. I have an awful memory and I hope that in keeping up with my blog, I will be able to look back on these postings and remember the wonderful moments and the challenges that were overcome as well. With that being said, I want to update on my current challenge of life with a baby that does not sleep. I hope that one day very soon I will not even remember what it's like to be so sleep deprived and Nolan will be a great sleeper and I will look back on this time and laugh (or at least be so thankful that it is behind us). And knowing me, I won't be able to remember the details that got us there either...
Nolan will be 3 months on Wednesday. I can't believe these 3 months have gone by so quickly in one way but at the same time it seems like an eternity since I slept. He normally wakes every 2 to 3 hours at night. Our best night ever was this past Friday night when I got to sleep from midnight until 5 am! I thought that maybe he was starting to make improvements but then he turned on me and Saturday and Sunday nights were awful and he was up all night (add Day Light Savings time into that and I was a disaster on Sunday). He has also regressed on his napping and is no longer napping well at all. I have to admit that all of this sleep deprivation has turned me into somewhat of a crazy person. Yesterday I was on the verge of tears all day as he cried through each naptime and I had no idea how to make it to last night when I knew I'd be up all night again (and I was). I felt as if I've totally confused myself regarding my parenting techniques and didn't know what to do anymore when Nolan cried (which has been anytime he's supposed to be sleeping). My trusty Babywise techniques that worked so well with Nicholas have failed me with Nolan. So I solicited the help of my mommy friends and of course received lots of different advice and the confusion mounted. One friend let me borrow her book that she says works wonders--"The Baby Whisperer". So I've been reading that since Friday and am attempting to use her techniques. It's similar to Babywise in terms of the schedule/routine is the same. The main difference is that you do not let the baby "cry it out". I felt the "cry it out" method wasn't working for Nolan and all it was doing was tramatizing both he and I (plus I worry about waking Nicholas too). With The Baby Whisperer you follow the routine (Eat, Activity, Sleep) and you put them to baby swaddled but awake. When they cry, you go in and do Pick up/Put Down in an attempt to calm the baby and teach them to fall asleep on their own without the props of nursing to sleep, rocking to sleep, etc. When he cries I pick him up on my shoulder, do a shush-pat on his back until he stops crying (no rocking, etc). The moment he stops crying I put him back down and can continue to shush-pat him in the crib. When he cries again, pick him back up and continue to put him back down as soon as he stops crying. You do this for as long as it takes for him to fall asleep, standing by the crib with your hand on them until they are in a deep sleep (and the paci falls out and he does not wake up and cry). Nolan is definitely paci dependant so that is a big issue to work on. Last night was my first night attempting this. He woke at 2:45 am and I did PU/PD with him until 4 am. Then he slept until 5:45 am. I tried PU/PD a few times and then decided that he was hungry and needed to eat. Afterwards I put him back down until 7 am when I fed him again to start the days schedule. During his first nap this morning I had to do PU/PD 3 times, each about 20 minutes long. It's definitely exhausting but I am trying hard to stick with it and be consistant. I'm praying that by the end of what will probably be a very difficult week, he will be sleeping better and the time for PU/PD will be very short or none at all and he will learn to soothe himself to sleep.
To add to all that, Nicholas has had a minor stomach bug since Thursday. He is once again missing school today because he had some tummy problems yesterday and it has to be 24 hours of being well to send him to school. This is making it a little challenging to spend so much time doing PU/PD in Nolan's room. Surprisingly though, I'm much more positive today and I hope to keep up this positive attitude. My problems are so minor and I know will pass soon. In the meantime, I am REALLY looking forward to naptime today!

A few more pics...

Here are a few more pictures from the wedding and the airplane. Plus a couple of pictures of the boys. Nolan is showing off his smiles (and his diapers) and then I love this picture of the boys while we were going on a walk. Nicholas looks so big next to our little teddy bear in the stroller :)

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles

Last weekend we embarked on our adventure of traveling to Texas for Kristin and Seth's wedding. Armed with lots of treats, toys, baby carriers and hooter hiders, Graham and I set off for the airport. We were crazy enough to attempt connecting flights with a 2 year old and a 2 month old! Nicholas was SOOO excited to fly on an airplane (also known as a rocket ship) and go to an airport. We had a few bumps in the road like rush hour traffic, problems with security, and then a mechanical problem on our plane in Dallas causing us to be delayed and then have to get on a new plane at a different gate (far from our other plane). But despite all that, the boys did very well and Graham and I, though exhausted, arrived in Austin ready for the wedding festivities.
Thursday night we all met at a local BBQ place. Nicholas was exhausted when I woke him from his nap to go to dinner and was quite cranky. Nolan however slept soundly in his car seat :) So we left early and went back to the wonderful house that the family had rented to catch up on sleep and be ready for the next day. Friday morning was the bridesmaids luncheon that Nolan and I and all the ladies attended while Graham and Nicholas stayed home to play and rest up. The luncheon was lots of fun (and delicious) and Nolan did great, sleeping in my sling the entire time.
Friday night was the Rehearsal Dinner. Nicholas had been looking forward to this for weeks as we were taking a dinner cruise that included going under bridges with bats! He couldn't get enough of being on the top of the boat and seeing all of the sites, especially the bats as they flew out from under the bridge to search for food.
Saturday was wedding day! The girls spent the day at Star Hill Ranch (the wedding site) getting beautiful while the boys (Graham, Nicholas, and PopPop) went shopping at Cabellas to see the stuffed game animals and fish. Soon it was time for the wedding. Kristin was absolutely stunning and the wedding was beautiful. Nicholas did a wonderful job as ringbearer and walked so nicely down the aisle with his girls (the flower girls) and he sat so quietly and watched the wedding. When the ceremony was done, he thought it was his turn to get married and ran up onto the stage! He loved being the center of attention and wouldn't even get out of the Johnson family pictures--it was hilarious. Then during the reception, he was out on the dance floor at least 30 minutes before anyone else, showing off his break dancing moves (we have no idea where he picked that up). He danced all night long and was the last one out on the floor. Nolan did great too. I nursed him 2 times during the wedding and he enjoyed being in someone's arms at all times. Kristin and Seth ended the night by riding off on a 2 person bicyle with a gigantic butterfly on it!
Sadly on Sunday we had to say goodbye to everyone and head back home. Again the boys did very well although Nolan did cry for a bit on the last flight. Poor guy was so tired, we all were!