Honoring Gami

One year ago today, Gami passed away and was joined with Our Father in Heaven. How wonderful it is to know that she is rejoicing for eternity now and no longer suffering as she did. But man do I miss that wonderful lady! There will never be another like her and I know that I will miss her every single day until we meet again. She has missed so much already in this year. My pregnancy, Graham's book release and contract for the sequeal, Ashley's engagement, Nolan's birth, Kristin's wedding, and just watching how Nicholas has grown. I know she's seeing all of us from where she is but how I wish we could share these experiences with her. There are so many times that I'm holding Nolan or looking at him when I'm reminded of similar times with Nicholas as a baby and how Gami loved to watch him. I remember how she would stand over me as I nursed Nicholas and as he would stop nursing to look up at her, she would always joke and say "Nosy!" (and I would say back to her "You're one to talk"). She loved to be with Nick as a baby and I would pick her up for our "dates" and she would ride in the back seat with him and say "Kissy, kissy, kissy" to him, always making him laugh. I can't believe it has been a year since I saw her, talked with her, hugged her, and laughed with her. Amazingly though, when I think back on these wonderful memories of her, it is like she is still with me, like they just happened yesterday. Because she was so much a part of my life, a part of me, there are so many things throughout each day that remind me of her or a funny time with her. To honor her today, Nicholas and I made a Kahlua cake. It was my first time--hopefully it turns out alright. I haven't done much baking with Nicholas but he was a great help and dumped everything into the mixing bowl and then helped me with the mixing too. (Don't worry, I didn't let him lick the bowl and get buzzed on Kahlua and Vodka--saved that for Me! Gami sure was one cool lady!) The family is coming over tonight for dinner. We'll be together and remember the wife, mom, and grandma that we loved so much. Hopefully they'll be laughter mixed in with our tears. And as life goes on without her, we know that she is watching us and loving us as always. If I take the time to stop and listen, I might just hear a "kissy, kissy, kissy"...
I love you Gami!

Zombie Mommy

I write this blog partly to update our family and friends of all of our happenings, but another big motivation for me is to have a record of our life with the boys. I have an awful memory and I hope that in keeping up with my blog, I will be able to look back on these postings and remember the wonderful moments and the challenges that were overcome as well. With that being said, I want to update on my current challenge of life with a baby that does not sleep. I hope that one day very soon I will not even remember what it's like to be so sleep deprived and Nolan will be a great sleeper and I will look back on this time and laugh (or at least be so thankful that it is behind us). And knowing me, I won't be able to remember the details that got us there either...
Nolan will be 3 months on Wednesday. I can't believe these 3 months have gone by so quickly in one way but at the same time it seems like an eternity since I slept. He normally wakes every 2 to 3 hours at night. Our best night ever was this past Friday night when I got to sleep from midnight until 5 am! I thought that maybe he was starting to make improvements but then he turned on me and Saturday and Sunday nights were awful and he was up all night (add Day Light Savings time into that and I was a disaster on Sunday). He has also regressed on his napping and is no longer napping well at all. I have to admit that all of this sleep deprivation has turned me into somewhat of a crazy person. Yesterday I was on the verge of tears all day as he cried through each naptime and I had no idea how to make it to last night when I knew I'd be up all night again (and I was). I felt as if I've totally confused myself regarding my parenting techniques and didn't know what to do anymore when Nolan cried (which has been anytime he's supposed to be sleeping). My trusty Babywise techniques that worked so well with Nicholas have failed me with Nolan. So I solicited the help of my mommy friends and of course received lots of different advice and the confusion mounted. One friend let me borrow her book that she says works wonders--"The Baby Whisperer". So I've been reading that since Friday and am attempting to use her techniques. It's similar to Babywise in terms of the schedule/routine is the same. The main difference is that you do not let the baby "cry it out". I felt the "cry it out" method wasn't working for Nolan and all it was doing was tramatizing both he and I (plus I worry about waking Nicholas too). With The Baby Whisperer you follow the routine (Eat, Activity, Sleep) and you put them to baby swaddled but awake. When they cry, you go in and do Pick up/Put Down in an attempt to calm the baby and teach them to fall asleep on their own without the props of nursing to sleep, rocking to sleep, etc. When he cries I pick him up on my shoulder, do a shush-pat on his back until he stops crying (no rocking, etc). The moment he stops crying I put him back down and can continue to shush-pat him in the crib. When he cries again, pick him back up and continue to put him back down as soon as he stops crying. You do this for as long as it takes for him to fall asleep, standing by the crib with your hand on them until they are in a deep sleep (and the paci falls out and he does not wake up and cry). Nolan is definitely paci dependant so that is a big issue to work on. Last night was my first night attempting this. He woke at 2:45 am and I did PU/PD with him until 4 am. Then he slept until 5:45 am. I tried PU/PD a few times and then decided that he was hungry and needed to eat. Afterwards I put him back down until 7 am when I fed him again to start the days schedule. During his first nap this morning I had to do PU/PD 3 times, each about 20 minutes long. It's definitely exhausting but I am trying hard to stick with it and be consistant. I'm praying that by the end of what will probably be a very difficult week, he will be sleeping better and the time for PU/PD will be very short or none at all and he will learn to soothe himself to sleep.
To add to all that, Nicholas has had a minor stomach bug since Thursday. He is once again missing school today because he had some tummy problems yesterday and it has to be 24 hours of being well to send him to school. This is making it a little challenging to spend so much time doing PU/PD in Nolan's room. Surprisingly though, I'm much more positive today and I hope to keep up this positive attitude. My problems are so minor and I know will pass soon. In the meantime, I am REALLY looking forward to naptime today!

A few more pics...

Here are a few more pictures from the wedding and the airplane. Plus a couple of pictures of the boys. Nolan is showing off his smiles (and his diapers) and then I love this picture of the boys while we were going on a walk. Nicholas looks so big next to our little teddy bear in the stroller :)

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles

Last weekend we embarked on our adventure of traveling to Texas for Kristin and Seth's wedding. Armed with lots of treats, toys, baby carriers and hooter hiders, Graham and I set off for the airport. We were crazy enough to attempt connecting flights with a 2 year old and a 2 month old! Nicholas was SOOO excited to fly on an airplane (also known as a rocket ship) and go to an airport. We had a few bumps in the road like rush hour traffic, problems with security, and then a mechanical problem on our plane in Dallas causing us to be delayed and then have to get on a new plane at a different gate (far from our other plane). But despite all that, the boys did very well and Graham and I, though exhausted, arrived in Austin ready for the wedding festivities.
Thursday night we all met at a local BBQ place. Nicholas was exhausted when I woke him from his nap to go to dinner and was quite cranky. Nolan however slept soundly in his car seat :) So we left early and went back to the wonderful house that the family had rented to catch up on sleep and be ready for the next day. Friday morning was the bridesmaids luncheon that Nolan and I and all the ladies attended while Graham and Nicholas stayed home to play and rest up. The luncheon was lots of fun (and delicious) and Nolan did great, sleeping in my sling the entire time.
Friday night was the Rehearsal Dinner. Nicholas had been looking forward to this for weeks as we were taking a dinner cruise that included going under bridges with bats! He couldn't get enough of being on the top of the boat and seeing all of the sites, especially the bats as they flew out from under the bridge to search for food.
Saturday was wedding day! The girls spent the day at Star Hill Ranch (the wedding site) getting beautiful while the boys (Graham, Nicholas, and PopPop) went shopping at Cabellas to see the stuffed game animals and fish. Soon it was time for the wedding. Kristin was absolutely stunning and the wedding was beautiful. Nicholas did a wonderful job as ringbearer and walked so nicely down the aisle with his girls (the flower girls) and he sat so quietly and watched the wedding. When the ceremony was done, he thought it was his turn to get married and ran up onto the stage! He loved being the center of attention and wouldn't even get out of the Johnson family pictures--it was hilarious. Then during the reception, he was out on the dance floor at least 30 minutes before anyone else, showing off his break dancing moves (we have no idea where he picked that up). He danced all night long and was the last one out on the floor. Nolan did great too. I nursed him 2 times during the wedding and he enjoyed being in someone's arms at all times. Kristin and Seth ended the night by riding off on a 2 person bicyle with a gigantic butterfly on it!
Sadly on Sunday we had to say goodbye to everyone and head back home. Again the boys did very well although Nolan did cry for a bit on the last flight. Poor guy was so tired, we all were!

Book signing

Saturday was such an exciting day with Graham's book signing at Border's book store. It meant so much to us, seeing all of the family, friends and neighbors that made the drive to Borders to come and support Graham. Our family kind of took over the store and visited with all those that came by. Graham was seated at a table near the front of the store and was busy signing all of his books. A handful of shoppers in the store picked up his book too! Hopefully they'll recommend the book to friends also. Graham sold all but 5 books (and there were a lot there)! The store asked him to sign those remaining 5 so that they can sell autographed copies. It was so neat to see Graham in what I'm sure is the first of many book signings throughout his career as a published author!

Grandad and Kaki were able to make it down for the book signing too! Afterwards we celebrated Kaki's birthday with a delicious dinner at a local italian restaurant called Rosa Mia. It was fabulous! Kaki and I enjoyed their homemade Sangria which was such a treat (Nolan got to enjoy that at the next feeding too ;) And their tomato basil soup and portabello mushroom ravioli were amazing! Then we came home for cake and presents--so fun!

But my sleep deprivation got the best of me and I was in bed by 8 that night! Things haven't gotten any better in the area of sleeping with Nolan. He wakes up everynight at least 2 times, usually around 1am and 4am. And the nighttime leaks with the cloth diapers are still a huge issue. I've been trying everything to try and fix this issue and think there must be something wrong with the diapers I have because they should last more than two hours! In fact my friend that cloth diapers with these same kind has a 10 month old who sleeps 12 hours and has never had one leak--ever! I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong and it is keeping me up at night--literally! The other big problem that we are having is that Nicholas is joining in the lack of sleep issues as he is now waking up around 5:30 am almost everyday! He wakes up and runs and turns on his light, slams his door and turns on the hall light and waits for us to come get him. He'll slam his door every so often so that we know that he is awake. I'm usually nursing Nolan at the time or have just gotten back into bed from nursing him. So basically, mornings pretty much stink around our house. Baxter added in the fun this morning by puking at 6 am! Don't you just wish you could come stay at the Garrison house! And to top it all off, Nolan now has the cold that Graham and Nicholas are still trying to get rid of. There is nothing more heartbreaking than listening to my tiny 2 month old coughing like a seal!

But after all that complaining, I do want to say that I know these issues are so minor and will pass soon. I am so thankful that these are my biggest problems right now and that with all these sleepless nights and babies with colds, I am so blessed to be able to be home with the boys and not have to go to a job all day. I am so thankful that I can stay home and focus on being their mom and trying to get them healthy again. I sure do love these boys of mine ;)

Nolan is 2 months and Papa is 91 years!

Well it seems that I can only find the time to update the blog about once every 2 weeks. There's just no time when you have an infant! Last week was certainly a fun week for us! On Monday, February 8th, Papa turned 91!! We made a week long celebration out of it. On Monday we all met at Olive Garden (his fav) for dinner. On a side note, Nicholas was an angel at dinner and amazed us with his coloring skills. He sat there the whole time and concentrated on coloring. Not only that but he was coloring inside the lines and has been continuing this all week. On Wednesday night, Aunt Carol and Uncle Cliff arrived. They came over on Thursday and visited and then Thursday night I met the family with both boys (Graham had a work dinner) at the club. Once again we had a wonderful visit with everyone. On Friday, Kristin and Ryan flew in, just before all of the snow arrived! Kristin stayed with us Friday night and we had fun in the snow that evening. The next morning, Nick and Graham went out again to throw snowballs and play around while Kristin, Nolan, and myself enjoyed the warm house. That night was party night at Mom and Dad's house. It was a wonderful party with a lot of Papa's friends. Aunt Sue, Uncle Dick, Matt and Grandma even made the drive up for it. It was so nice to honor Papa and his amazing 91 years with a chance for everyone to be together. Mom and Carol did a wonderful job on the party too!

Sunday was Valentine's Day! After church and Sunday School, we dropped the boys off with all the family and Graham and I snuck out for a movie--Holly and Matt joined us! It was so nice to get out amongst adults with no kids for a couple of hours. We stopped off at Barnes & Noble and found Graham's book for sale too!

Monday was an adventure in shopping as I joined the girls at Perimeter mall with both boys in tow so that I could get the last of the things that I need for Kristin's wedding in 2 weeks. It sure is a challenge and quite exhausting spending the day at the mall with both of the boys. Thankfully I had my entourage to help me keep it all together.

Unfortunately, this week both Nicholas and Graham have come down with a bad cold. Graham seems to be doing better each day which is good because he has his Book Signing tomorrow. I'm praying that time is protected and he's able to make it.

Yesterday, Nolan had his 2 month check up. I can't believe it's been 2 months already. He's doing well although he is still a little guy. Weighing in at 11 pounds 1 ounce, he's in the 38th percentile. He's 22 inches (16th percentile) and his head is 15 inches (12th percentile!). He's still not showing much progress in the sleeping through the night area. I asked Dr. Bergman if he's too small or young to be going all night without eating and he said no, that it would just take some convincing from me and some crying from him to get there. I tried last night and he cried for 45 minutes and I caved and went in and fed him (twice--at 2 and 5). Both times he had gotten out of the swaddle and needed diaper changes. I'm struggling to know when to feed him and when to let him cry. It was just so much easier when Nicholas just did it on his own.

Our last two weeks...

The past 2 weeks have been pretty quiet, thank goodness, so I haven't had too much to report. We finally recovered from our horrible stomach virus and things slowly got back to normal (and the laundry finally got under control). Nicholas got back to school (finally!) and has really enjoyed being back with his friends and teachers. He's been a little chatterbox recently and on Wednesday when I picked him up from school he talked more than ever about what he did at school that day. He told me all about going to Chapel and talking with the Pastor about God in heaven and hearing that "God loves me". Then he burst out in song with "Jesus loves me" (along with hand motions of course). It melted my heart.
Last Saturday we visited Grandad and Kaki at their house. It was so wonderful for all of us to get to spend time together. We're so happy that they are back home and Butch is on the road to recovery. Each day he seems to be taking steps towards getting better and regaining more strength and hopefully some weight too! We're so proud and amazed of how strong he's been through all of this. Witnessing God's healing power has been truly miraculous!
This week was a busy one for me while Nick was at school. On Monday, I had a dentist appointment and lots of errands to run. Nolan was an angel for me as usual and I was very thankful that I didn't have to spend my time in the dentist chair with a screaming baby in my arms (like I did when Nicholas was a baby). On Wednesday, Nolan and I made it out to Mom's Fellowship Group at church. This was so nice to finally get back there as it's been many weeks that I missed!
On Thursday, the boys and I hosted our neighborhood playgroup at our house. This was so much fun to have so many friends over! It's been a few months since we've all done a playgroup so it was great to see everyone, and there was even one new mom and her two children, Phoebe and Jack (and we're so excited that Phoebe will be starting in Nick's preschool class soon!).
This weekend was pretty full of activity. Friday night we met up with a few of our families from our Sunday School at Fuddruckers for some food and fellowship. I also invited my childhood friend, Kristin, and her family to join us. We had lots of fun and Nicholas loved getting to play with one of his favorite friends, Charlie, in the game room. Later that night, Graham and I watched a super scary movie (Paranormal Activity) that of course now has me a little freaked out being up all night in a dark nursery by myself. Hopefully soon I'll stop looking over my shoulder checking for ghosts!
On Saturday, Nick, Nolan and myself met up with Mom and Ashley at the mall--one of Nick's favorite things to do. Then Saturday night, I got a girls night out with Nadine and all of her bridesmaids. We had so much fun at Maggiano's for dinner. Unfortunately, Graham was not having as much fun at home with the boys. Nolan spent the entire time crying and would not sleep. Nolan seems to only sleep while swaddled and this is something that Graham has not mastered. Hopefully the next time they have a boy's night, Nolan will be cooperative!
And lastly, tonight we went to our neighbor's house for a superbowl party. Brooke, James and their little boy Brandon were so nice to have us. As usual, Nicholas had a wonderful time. He didn't watch any football but was very excited about the new toys to play with, the aquarium, and their puppy dog.
Nolan is 7 weeks old now. He's growing well and is doing really well with the routine. The nights still aren't wonderful though. He had two nights this week where he only woke up one time at 3 am and I got very excited about that. But the last two nights he was back to waking up 2 times (every 3 hours usually). I'm hoping that he'll get back to once a night tonight and hopefully soon be sleeping all the way through the night. But I have to say, I'm not so sure that it'll be as easy or as early as it was with Nicholas (at 2 months). Also, I don't think that Nolan will be sucking his thumb. He hasn't been trying to find his thumb at all and is addicted to his pacifier!